Endless Crocheting

So I've been crocheting for days on and off.  I started and finished a lovely crocheted necklace today. The pattern can be found here: Crochet-Necklace.  I'm new at this so I hope it doesn't look like something a clown would wear. :P

It's Wednesday

Did I mention I'm not too fond of Wednesdays?  Oh well, I'm not going to complain today.  I feel better since last week.  I've decided to let go of some of my worries.  The first one is money.  I have absolutely no money.

I'm actually excited about Christmas.  I feel like its going to be more festive and enjoyable now that I'm not worrying so much about shopping for gifts since I'll be making gifts this year.  I've begun crocheting a scarf (not telling who its for) and its the first crocheted scarf I will be finishing!  Jason helped me pick the color of the yarn while we were at hobby lobby, and I decided to add a set of wooden buttons near one end of the scarf for style.  I'm actually proud of how its looking so far! Just a bunch more to go. :P 

Personally, I rather enjoy receiving homemade gifts.  I see in commercials on TV that lend the message that homemade gifts are "awkward" or "boring", but I think that is obviously the promotion of consumerism above the thoughtfulness of giving.  If someone spend hours making me a scarf, I'd be impressed! Oh and I won't complain that it wasn't a BluRay player either.  The nerve of some of these people in these commercials!


I do need fabrics to continue my Christmas-ing though.  I'm not so worried because crocheting takes more time that sewing does, so I believe I'm ahead of schedule for now.  I do have a sewing machine (Singer Simple), which I received from my mom for my birthday, and I love cranking out things on it.  I've made two kilts, adapted a t-shirt, mended pants, hemmed a robe, and soon I'll be making tops in Renaissance style as gifts for friends and family!  Lets hope none of my family reads this. :)

 This is the scarf I've been crocheting! :D

36/ 415 pages

And so I sleep for a grand total of 5 hours before I woke to dry nasal passages and a fever like warmth to my entire body.  For the past few hours I've continued to read through Wuthering Heights and set up my VICKS humidifier.  Now the air in my room is moist and smells of eucalyptus.

What I wanted was for a soul to spoon soup or tea to me, pamper my dry flesh with a hydrating lotion, and comfort me as I drifted back to sleep.  Maybe not a real person.  Perhaps more of a ghost or some kind spirit that would tend to me as if I were bed ridden and then vanish once I was well.  Seeing as there is no one to do such things, I did them myself.  Opening my jar of Ponds lotion, I slathered it on my dry limbs, unsatisfied at the blue veins that peer at me through my white skin.  Feeling to lazy to steep a cup of tea, I downed a few butter cookies from the tin my mother gave me before the holiday, and now I return to my book and hopefully the province of sleep.

7pm, to bed.

I felt poorly today, which is some what of a rarity for me. I like to stay chipper and emotionally healthy, but lately its been taxing. I can't quite put my finger on the variable that is causing the change in my moods. I wake up, emotionally exhausted some days. Everything appears muted and dull, and my vitality feels as if its receded beneath my epidermis, puckered and weak if affected with some sort of illness. On these days, I favor isolation and find it laborious to even change out of my bed clothes. I feel as though I'm not fit to face the people who know and love me. They expect me to be my perky self, full of ambition to work/study/socialize but on these days I can't even pretend to oblige them. I'm usually to restless to sleep and my appetite dwindles. Today is one of those days that have become more and more frequent. I try to "snap out of it" but it's strange fog ensnares me, and becomes difficult to fan away.

So I had to leave my beloved boyfriends house whilst in the middle of a hockey game on TV, to return home due to my fatigue. It pained me to leave since I feel like I never get to spend as much time with him as I would like to. And now, here I am, preparing myself for an early bedtime. A fresh copy of Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights is waiting for me on the paisley orange comforter upon my bed, and in times like these, reading is the only thing that can help pass the lonely and dismal hours of illness away. I forced down a slice of cheesecake a moment ago. Time will tell if it was a poor choice of sustenance now stuck at the bottom of my stomach.

Did I mention that today I finished Diane Setterfield's novel, The Thirteenth Tale? Fantastic read, and I highly recommend it if you are fond of gothic fiction.

"I thought you said something about a wolf," I began.

"Yes. That black beast that gnaws at my bones whenever he gets a chance. He loiters in corners and hides behind doors most of the time, because he's afraid of these." She indicated the white pills on the table beside her.

"But they don't last forever. It's nearly twelve and they are wearing off. He is sniffing at my neck. By half past he will be digging his teeth and claws in. Until one, when I can take another tablet and he will have to return to his corner. We are always clockwatching, he and I. He pounces five minutes earlier every day. But I cannot take my tablets five minutes earlier. That stays the same."

"But surely the doctor -"

"Of course. Once a week, or once every ten days, he adjusts the dose. Only never quite enough. He does not want to be the one to kill me, you see. And so when it comes, it must be the wolf that finishes me off."

[Vida Winter conversing with Margret Lea, The Thirteenth Tale.]

Thanksgiving

This has been, perhaps, the most dreary of Thanksgivings I've encountered. The truth of it is, I have no idea why. Perhaps its that gathered around the table, there were only four of us, where there had been almost double that figure. The sky was dull and gray, and I made the terrible choice of wearing a blouse in the same sort of depressing tone. I spent an hour carefully applying makeup in golds and pinks to find my appearance in the mirror unappealing.

For the first time in my life, I've begun to see the physical evidence of age. I have several dozen gray hairs now, as well as seemingly deepening set of lines around my eyes and mouth. I tried to tell myself "its just fatigue, it'll vanish with a good nights rest" but I knew better. I never expected to feel the extent of my mortality at age 23.

Back to the dinner. The flavors were rich but didn't lift the spirits of me or my family that sat around the table. We focused, silently, at shoving in the cinnamon sweet potatoes, or sipped thirstily at the crystal wine goblets until everyone have had their fill in a span of 15 minutes. Sparce were the words between us. I had not known this feeling before. It was a sense of awkward sadness at the table.

It's been a while...

since I last posted! So much has happened since spring I can hardly put it all into words. Bare with me, I'm trying to revive this blog. ^^

Sparkling teeth!

I went into my favorite class on monday and was on edge about the looming student show. Sadly to say, I found out that my piece wasn't selected. My heart sank at the news. I asked my friend Amy if she had heard anything about it, and that's when she told me.

"We didn't make it in. No one in our class did. It's just wrong."

Our professor had custom built everyone a frame so everyone could enter their plaster board pieces...and I came to find out that only one made it in. I was more than disappointed, not because I didn't make it in, but other friends of mine who had better chances then me didn't make it. From what I've heard, it's all political. Some people found it strange that so many pieces from a certain professor, who happened to be the director of the gallery, made it in. Hrm, perhaps it was fair, perhaps not, but even though my heart aches for my class and professor, I'm not giving up. Next semester, I will be in that show.

I went to the dentist today for the first time in almost five years. Yeah, but he was quite surprized that my teeth were in such good condition for going so long without professional care. My teeth look great. That last dentist I had really screwed my front teeth up with some sort of sealer she put on them. I was so glad my new dentist was able to remove all of it! They feel so smooth now! ^O^ I have this really weird thing going on with my wisdom teeth...they are sideways beneath my gumline and pushing against the roots of my other teeth. 0.o Yeah, I'll have to have those removed soon, I guess. And unfortunately, I have one itty-bitty cavity. It's my first ever cavity after being cavity free for 20 years. Damn! I'm having it drilled 'n filled April 25th. Oh...and that's the same day the Prismacolor Rep. is coming to my class to gives us free supplies! w00t! ^O^